since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
