I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
