maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
