dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize