dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
