dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
someone threw a dead crab at me
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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