SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
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