My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
