I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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