I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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