Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
