Banned from zoo.
Again?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
