When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
