dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
