I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Do plants get herpes?
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