I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
