My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
it glows. i had to have it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
