you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
