i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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