I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
