WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
