I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
