you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
