i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
