Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
