so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize