I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
