I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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