They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
