Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
