i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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