Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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