look no pants
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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