I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
