you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
