so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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