Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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