that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
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Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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