sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize