Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
