she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
