I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
