What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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