I love black thongs
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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