Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
