She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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