Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
