I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
What changed your mind?
Being sober
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
