Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
