Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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