you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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