Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this just has baby written all over it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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