very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
