I'm jealous of your bromance
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
