Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
