I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
