I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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