I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
