After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
