The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Vodka?
Forever.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
