We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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