I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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