I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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